Rethinking the blog

Wow! It's been a long time since I posted...time goes by so quickly.  I feel so old when I say that; I remember being a kid & hearing adults say that and think they were crazy...time went SO slowly...I couldn't wait to be an adult.  And now, here I am, and it all just slips away - that probably says something about how many things there are on my to do list vs how many there should be. ;-)

Anyway.

Part of the reason I started this blog was to do what I've been doing so far, share wedding planning with all of you out there that aren't in my head. I wanted to be able to provide everyone with as much update as they wanted, without overdosing anyone & talking about the wedding constantly.

The other driver was a blog I'd been very inspired by, Weddingbee. In fact (and this is reasonably unlike me) I wanted to be a contributor. I think that I have a really unique perspective, because the transition I'm going through isn't just about K & I, but it's about S, C & P too. I wanted to share that with people, because I don't see a lot of my peers out there when I read blogs. Kids are treated like a decoration or an accessory, not an important piece of a new family. I wanted to share a different perspective.

Getting back to the point - in order to apply to blog at Weddingbee, you have to have a blog.  So, I thought I'd give it a shot. I wrote for awhile, trying to post what I thought you'd care aboud and what they'd care about. Then, late last month, I submitted my application.

And I was rejected. :-(

Total bummer.

Around the same time - I think it was after I'd submitted my application, but before I heard back, I started to get slightly burnt out on it all, Weddingbee especially.  I thought that maybe it was just that the contributors I liked were married, so they weren't contributing as much & so I "missed" them. I also just felt less interested in posting here. I knew that was silly; I was getting great comments and this was what I thought I wanted to do.

So, I let it percolate, as I often do when faced with something that doesn't feel right.

Recently it hit me.

The reason I liked those contributors was because their posts were about more than just what color flowers they would use in their centerpieces. They had those posts, but they also talked about how forming a healthy marriage was hard. They talked about tough situations within their family and pre-marriage counseling and money. 

I was sitting over here prattling on about girlie things - which is great - but totally isn't me.  I mean, don't get me wrong,  I really liked sharing about the cake buying experience & my many, many, many interations on centerpieces. It's just not all of me, though, and it got to the point where it didn't feel like me at all.

So, I'm going to try to make this blog more "me".  More of a mixture of the meaningful stuff & the pretty stuff. It will still be all about the wedding - but I'm going to stop avoiding how S is handling the wedding, or how K & I are still trying to figure out communication.

This feels a little wierd, to be honest. I have an idea of who's reading out there, but I'm not sure of everyone. I am worried about either offending someone or feeling like I have to censor myself to the point that the whole thing is pointless.  I'll figure it out, though.  I will warn you, though, there may be some posts where I don't allow comments. I'm hoping that will let me feel more comfortable just putting my thoughts out there, without worrying about how it will impact the reader.

So, we'll see...but that's the plan. :-)

PS - if you're interested, one of my absolute favorite Weddingbee bloggers now has a personal blog: Not Quite Betty Crocker